» Control, Routine and Responsibility

Sometimes it's good to let go of those routines and responsibilities

When I moved to Greece one of the things I was looking forward to was more control over my life.

I worked for many years in roles where I had a lot of responsibility – for people, systems or both. I’d get up each morning and the act of showering, dressing, eating breakfast and driving to work would be like putting on my ‘responsibility suit’. As I got closer to being fully clothed in this suit I’d start thinking about the day ahead, what tasks I needed to do, what challenges there might be etc.

Having finally been able to walk away from that life I was looking forward to being able to have more choice over what to do and when to do it. I definitely wanted to spend more time taking photographs and writing, but welcomed the fact that I wouldn’t feel hemmed in or tied down by routines, deadlines, targets and the like.

But it hasn’t really worked out like that.

It seems I’ve replaced one set of routines and responsibilities with another. As these have been chosen by me it makes sense that I can also choose not to follow them as and when I please. But the nature of a routine is to become a habit, and that’s what I’ve fallen into: a different set of habits, which sometimes feel as restricting as those I used to follow as a paid employee.

A fair portion of my time these days is internet related, working on our website and blog. Reading all the guidance about developing web-based communication I’ve set myself some targets related to the frequency with which to post articles on the two blogs. Nothing particularly daunting here, I’m not about to join that group of people who feel they have to post several times a day, but a commitment to regular, original posts that will keep the things alive.

This then creates a tension. I’m conscious of whether I have posts lined up ready to publish, or whether I’ve got to generate some new material. If it’s the latter I’m reviewing my experiences (as I live them) to see if they would make ‘blog fodder’. I’m wondering about pictures: what would work? Do I have it? Can I take it myself? Do I need to source it?

In some ways I’ve bought into the notion that I must post on time. As I get closer to that deadline, and there’s nothing ready or my IT is playing up (a regular occurrence at present) I can feel myself getting more and more edgy. Occasionally I post late and guess what?

THE WORLD DOESN’T STOP TURNING and no-one comes along and tells me off!

I see bloggers seeking guest posters to cover vacations. I see others posting lots of articles on the same day. And it makes me wonder:

?    Do readers get withdrawal symptoms if there are no posts for a short while as the blogger goes off for a break?

?    Do readers really have the time available to keep up with multiple new posts? Don’t they have a life outside of the internet?

?    And how about those bloggers? Even if they work ‘full time’ on their blogs, don’t they too have an off-line life?

Back to my own situation, I’ve decided it’s time to lighten up. I’m not going to abandon my posting program for two reasons:

Firstly, I don’t believe it’s particularly onerous.

And secondly, I think that without some sort of structure I could find myself getting out of the habit of posting, then having frenzied catch-up sessions that wouldn’t really leave me feeling any better.

But I’m not going to get worried if a post is a little late. And maybe sometimes I’ll replace the words with a picture I like, ideally one I’ve taken myself.

And beyond the blog I’m starting to get control of my life back.

Yesterday morning I didn’t feel like putting on my ‘responsibility suit’ when I first woke up. There were chores to do and people to see, but I wasn’t ready to get into harness. I wasn’t tired but I decided to stay in bed for a while, just dozing and daydreaming without focussing on the tasks of the day.

I certainly felt the benefit, but I still need to take the medicine regularly as towards the end of my ‘me time’ I started thinking about how this would make a good blog post!