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Archive for July, 2009
Time to Smell the Roses
Author: Maggi
Sometimes it’s good to take time out to smell the roses.
One of the things that never cease to amaze me is the beauty of natural things. Nature has created a range of flowers and insects that will never be bettered by the graphics people, even with the most sophisticated software at their disposal.
So this post is an opportunity to view a couple of things I photographed just outside our apartment, and marvel at how wonderful it is to be alive in this fantastic, natural world.
Enjoy…

More beautiful than any sculpture

So much detail in so fragile a creature
read comments (0)In praise of Basil
Author: Maggi
In Greek the herb basil is called βασιλικός – vasilikos – a word that also means royal or regal, and known as the king of herbs.
And so it is proving to be.
This humble little plant is turning out to be a real multi-tasker for us.
Food-wise it’s used to enhance the flavor of tomato and pasta dishes, and the leaves also make a nice addition to a salad. But even before the food gets to the table, basil has a role to play. It can be ‘companion planted’ to act as both a flavor enhancer to other plants and a natural insecticide.
It’s proving really effective as a natural remedy for insect bites: just rub with the leaf until the sap starts to run; it takes the itching and inflammation away. We also have pots around the doors and windows, again as an insect repellent. My herb book suggests it will also sooth snake bites – here’s hoping we never get to try this one out!
In Ayurvedic medicine basil is valued as a tonic, giving divine protection, spiritual healing and strengthening the immune system. As an essential oil it is used to lift fatigue, anxiety and depression, and also good for bronchitis, colds, fever, gout and indigestion. The Egyptians even used it in the embalming process.
And all this from a humble herb that you can buy in your local supermarket.
Many Greeks grow ‘standard’ basil plants as decorative additions to the garden. Here’s one we’re cultivating that is just coming into flower.

Not just good to look at, basil also has many culinary and medicinal uses
It’s MY Turn!
Author: Maggi
Yesterday we spent an hour or so at the local doctor’s surgery, which offered a couple of interesting observations on human nature.
In England getting to see a doctor was always something of a challenge. An appointment was always needed, but getting one wasn’t easy. Starting the phone calls from the minute the surgery opened, constant redialing until you got a ringing tone, then hanging on … and on … and on; knowing that if you put the phone down that elusive ringing tone would never be found again.
Eventually you’d secure the first available appointment, usually be a couple of days later. By the time you finally got to see the doctor you were likely better or beyond his help. And even having that treasured appointment time was no guarantee that you wouldn’t be faced with a long wait. Appointments at 5 minute intervals – the norm – were rarely sufficient for that consultation.
Greece, by comparison, hasn’t got around to the concept of doctors’ appointments (not our part of Greece anyway). So you just turn up and wait your turn. This is good, because it means you will actually be seen on the day you want to be, but not so good because you don’t know how long it may take.
Our local surgery usually has just one doctor on duty, and no nurses or reception staff. No nursing staff means the doctor deals with everything is presented, including routine checking and dressing of wounds. When someone goes into the surgery you have no idea of how long they will be. Doctors don’t have that notional ‘5 minute slot’ – they take as long as their patient needs.
And no reception staff means you rely on people taking their turn. There is no ticket system, and patients sit or stand anywhere in the waiting area, or even outside. In fact nothing except observation and goodwill ensures that people form a virtual ‘orderly queue’. When someone believes they are next in line they will stand immediately outside the surgery door, or move to the chair closest to it, and this is rarely challenged.
Yesterday we’d been waiting for around an hour, knowing we were 5th in the queue. The current patient had been in over 15 minutes and appeared to be a dressing change, the doctor coming out to collect cloths and solutions at intervals. A lady ahead of us had been getting more and more agitated as she waited, sighing, muttering to herself, and looking at her watch. Then another lady, who had arrived maybe 5 minutes earlier, walked across from where she had been sitting and sat on the empty chair immediately outside the doctor’s door, offering a few words to the people around her to justify her actions.
This second lady was well down the queue, but evidently planning to get the doctor’s attention as soon as she could. The first lady was extremely unhappy at this, and placed herself outside the surgery door, back at the front of the queue. A discussion began between the two, getting more heated by the second. We couldn’t understand this but the gist of it seemed to be: “I only need to speak to the doctor for a minute.” “Not before I see him, you don’t. I’ve been waiting hours and you’re not getting in ahead of me.” said in increasingly strong tones by each of them.
To add to the tension, the doctor came out of the surgery for more supplies and acknowledged the second lady. Even so, the first lady wasn’t giving way, and made it very clear by her words and body language that this was the case.
It’s standard practice in Greece for people to knock on a surgery door, or have a very quick word with a doctor or dentist – or bank clerk or any other official for that matter – while that person is dealing with someone else. It happens everywhere, and people see nothing wrong with it. In fact doctors and dentists will sometimes tell their patients to do this. Maybe this doctor had seen the second lady earlier and actually told her to come to the front of the queue when she came back?
When the current patient finally came out it was like watching a scrum. Both ladies were determined to be next to see the doctor and the exiting patient had to dodge between them as they raced for the lead. The first lady won, and shut the door firmly in her opponent’s face.
Whilst this altercation was happening a mother had joined the queue with her son, probably aged around 12. She also had a dialog with some of the people waiting, asking how many doctors were on duty, and working out how long the queue was. It was clear that her son was the patient, although on sight he didn’t look to be particularly suffering.
An elderly man, who was behind us in the queue, spoke to another man, who was in front of us, (and we had all been waiting well over an hour). He was saying “I think the child should go first, how about you?”. The second man agreed, and they declared to everyone else “The child goes first” (not that he would have stood a chance against either of the two women!).
Sad to say, the second example surprised me most. The world seems to have more people who are keen to assert their rights and fight for their place than to be generous and giving to others.
Why Do People Follow the Crowd?
Author: Maggi

Do you get caught up in the 'crowd' response to situations?
It was a surprise to hear Michael Jackson had died aged just 50. My partner saw it on an internet news site and we briefly read the story, skimming over the inevitable trawl through the more unattractive side of his unusual life. But that was it. Our curiosity about the cause of death was answered, and our interest was over, beyond remarking on the sadness of such an early death for anyone.
But almost immediately the ‘lemming mentality’ started to emerge.
People on Facebook (and doubtless other places) joining groups related to him that mostly didn’t exist the day before he died.
A download site showing that the most popular music and video downloads were suddenly all related to his work, when he hadn’t really featured previously.
On-line reportage encouraging people to leave comments and tributes.
Fans devastated by their grief.
And doubtless many more public outpourings if you choose to look.
Why does this happen?
If people really appreciated the ‘King of Pop’ why did they wait until he died to join these groups?
If they really liked his music and videos why didn’t they get them before he died?
Or maybe they already have copies, but somehow think one downloaded after his death will be different?
How did we ever evolve into a society where the death of a famous person has the power to generate such responses?
There are many examples of where people are motivated to take action by a sad or tragic event. The diagnosis with, or death of a loved one from, a known disease often prompts people into a frenzy of fund-raising for a cause they were never concerned about before.
I’m not an unfeeling person, but I just can’t understand why people have this need to join a cause or demonstrate public grief in this way. Killer diseases have been around for a long time, and funds for research and treatment have been needed. Celebrities have died young from all manner of expected and unexpected causes.
But it seems that there’s more kudos in jumping on the bandwagon after the event than showing support for that same cause, or in that celebrity, before it happens.
That same sort of crowd mentality creates many other unhelpful ‘lemming-like’ responses:
A rush to sell shares or withdraw money from a financial institution when someone in the media says things are getting bad, which then just makes things worse than they might have been;
Fears about the latest ‘killer’ disease so blown up by the media that normal people start over-reacting and taking extreme preventative action;
Newspapers and television full of doom and gloom stories of the economic woes, so that even those who are least affected begin to worry more than they need to;
People putting themselves into debt because they’ve been persuaded their life won’t be worth living without the latest designer product;
Parents who queue through the night for the latest book or game for their kids, convinced the child will ’suffer’ if they’re not the first to possess it;
Crazy hype about the world ending, or Y2K meltdown (remember that?) that result in otherwise sensible people stockpiling food and bottled water.
It seems the common denominator in all this is the media.
Years ago, when we just had daily newspapers and limited television and radio reportage, it was easier to keep things in perspective. You had time to think about what you were reading or hearing. You weren’t bombarded with a story from so many – usually negative – angles. There was far less sensationalizing about things. And, significantly, it took time to communicate.
In today’s ‘instant’ society, no sooner has something happened than the web is broadcasting it, all the media hacks are digging out and cross referencing every scrap of related – however dubiously – material to be re-worked. All of them want to be first; all of them want to say something different, all of them are silently screaming “read ME”, “watch ME” in a desperate need to get someone’s attention.
Nor will they leave it alone. Take Michael Jackson again. The death itself, the funeral, memorials, the start date of his planned world tour, are all occasions to repeat (with minute alterations) the stories.
Take my advice: do everything you can to jump off the bandwagon. Stop being seduced by the media, stop clinging on to the latest fashionable cause, and be your own person. Choose your own causes to support, in your own way, at your own time. Take back control of your own thoughts, reactions and emotions rather than responding to what others are saying you should be thinking, feeling and doing.
You’ll feel much better for it.
The Consequences of Failing to Plan
Author: Maggi
You’ve heard the saying:
‘Fail to plan, plan to fail’.
Our recent excursion into growing our own vegetables is a good illustration of how this can work in practice. We haven’t failed, but we could have had more success than we’ve achieved so far.
It would be unfair to say we didn’t make any plans at all, but we weren’t really very systematic, nor did we base our plans on sound research. We’d grown some vegetables before in England, so we knew the basics: prepare your ground, sow your seeds or source your small plants, lay out your patch, feed, water, weed etc. And we knew what we wanted to grow, so set about acquiring seeds and plants to fulfill our desires.
But we didn’t pay that much attention to things like soil quality, growing seasons in a different country, compatibility of plants growing next to each other, growing habits of plants or weather conditions. We definitely went into this like amateurs!
Here are some of the things we did and what they taught us:
We were told we could choose anywhere on the plot for our vegetables, but didn’t consider the effects of sunlight and shade before settling on a plot. So we have an area that gets little natural shade and we’ve had to rig up some netting that goes a little way to cutting the glare of the sun. Our plants are getting strong sunlight for around 12 hours per day, which is too much for some of them. We’re feeling the effects in the need to water deeply and feed regularly, as the water quickly dilutes the nutrients in the feed. The netting also has to be adjusted as plants like sweetcorn grow higher, and we have to struggle under it to water, feed and weed, making us wander around the plot almost bent double.
We also didn’t consider the quality of the soil when we came to choose our plants. We’re working on a plot with quite heavy, clayey soil, which is sticky when wet, and cracks quickly as it dries out. Not the preferred environment of crops like carrots, but we still planted several rows. A recent inspection suggested that, although we have good top growth on the carrots, we’re likely to get small, stunted vegetables that won’t be worth peeling. Fortunately most of the things we’ve planted fruit above ground, but we’re hoping our red onions don’t suffer a similar fate to the carrots. Walking in this soil when it’s even slightly moist is a good way of picking up a few pounds of ballast on each foot. Good for strengthening the leg muscles if nothing else!

Despite our planning failures this carrot really tried to deliver for us!
But then those carrots shouldn’t have been in there anyway. After raising them from seed, and cheerfully planting them out, I got to wondering how long it would be until we were enjoying tasty carrots straight from the plot. So I decided to search the web for some guidance, only to find that carrots don’t like really hot weather, so in our climate should only be planted in spring or autumn. Another reason why we’re not expecting a bumper crop. And I can add several other items to the list of plants that don’t like the heat. In fact, we’ve planted more things that don’t like the heat than things that do! With some of these there’s a chance that they will develop fruit in the autumn, as the temperatures start to fall. So for now we’re just watering and hoping.
More than once we were advised to look at what local people were growing and copy them, to make sure that we had the right crops growing at the right time. That’s sound advice, which we followed to an extent. But the locals know when to get their crops in the ground, and when you find you’re months behind them you’re already on the back foot. Plus some of the plants look similar to each other, or, conversely, are difficult to recognize. Without going and interrogating the elderly men and women in their gardens – which is difficult when you have a language difference – we were stuck. A feeble excuse maybe, but the challenge of trying to communicate with that group of people least likely to have much command of English were compared against that of having a go and seeing what would happen. And the latter won.
When they’re in small pots, you can’t get an idea of how big things are going to grow. We were planting some things, like eggplant, zucchini and cucumber for the first time, and didn’t know about their growing habits either. Consequently we planted our zucchini too close together. As they developed we decided to stake them and let them grow upwards as there was more space for them this way. This worked fine until one plant broke off completely at the stem as we tried to harvest a couple of fairly large specimens.
When we placed our plants within the plot we did this with a hazy idea of what to put where. We didn’t consider space needs or accessibility. Nor did we think about plant heights and how these might help provide shade for other plants. So we have a fairly random layout where we could have had more order. Some plants are getting pushed aside as others take up more room than we expected. Taller plants aren’t offering any shade to others. Weeding is interesting: dancing around like a ballerina trying to avoid stepping on something. Eyes in the back of my head would be useful; eyes in my butt would be even more so!
We’ve got a nice row of sweetcorn, some of which is getting pretty high. Just the other day I read an article that said sweetcorn is wind pollinated and so it shouldn’t be planted in a single row. Whoops! All I can say is that the wind has often come from the direction that would blow along the row – that’s when it doesn’t just swirl around from all directions – so maybe we’ll be alright.
One food we were keen to grow was peas. We asked for seed at the local garden supplies centre, and were told the seed was not αρακάς (the word on packs of frozen peas), but μπριζέλι. According to our dictionary both words are Greek translations of ‘pea’, and we’d written both down on our list just in case, so we thought nothing of it. They looked like normal pea seeds, and they sprouted like normal pea seeds – growing so quickly we could almost see them. But these aren’t like any peas we’ve seen before. The pods don’t fatten out in the way we’re used to, nor do they go a noticeable green. But if they’re picked when they are still firm and a very pale green they taste like the peas we’re used to. So we’ve lost quite a few as we didn’t know what was happening and let the pods get brown and dry.
Succession planting – to give a longer harvesting season – is desirable to make sure we don’t have more vegetables than we can cope with at a time. But it’s proving difficult. It’s too hot to get any new plants started, and we began our gardening activities too late to follow the usual practice of sowing small numbers of plants at regular intervals. So we have cucumbers, zucchini and French beans – lots of them all at once – but only the odd tomato and pepper. Plan A was giving the surplus away, which our friends appreciate. Plan B is to learn how to preserve them so we can benefit from our own efforts later in the year.
As you can see we haven’t failed completely. In fact we can sometimes boast that there are more home-grown ingredients in our meals than shop-bought. But there are things we could have done differently that would have helped. Lessons that we’ve learned for the future and that we’ll use when we get onto our own plot. In fact we’re already doing this: noticing the soil condition, where the natural shade is, where there will be good drainage etc.
And we’re collecting lots of guidance from the web about growing in a hot climate. Plus as our language skills and confidence grow it will become easier to ask the locals and benefit from their replies.
Useful Lessons to Teach Kids in an Economic Downturn
Author: Maggi

Do YOUR kids think there's one of these growing in the garden?
The Importance of Savings
Whenever you get some money, whether you’ve been given it or earned it, don’t be tempted to spend it all. Make sure you put a proportion on one side as savings. Not savings for something specific, savings that can be a buffer for those times when money gets tight or you have unexpected expenses. And if you need to dip into those savings, replace what you took as soon as you can.
The Benefits of Planned Savings
Make sure your savings earn you money. As a young child, knowing the number of coins you’ve got in a piggy bank is growing is a good incentive to save. But as soon as possible you should get this money working for your child. Investigate savings accounts geared towards children but don’t automatically choose one of these unless it is a good investment. Ideally you should find a savings account that pays interest gross, so your children don’t lose money in unnecessary taxes. If you can find an account that pays monthly interest and encourages regular saving, all the better. And consider using a notice account where they can’t just withdraw money whenever they want. You could get a better interest rate that way.
Really Making Your Money Work for You
Show your child the benefits of compound interest, either through their own account or yours. Show them that money saved earns interest not only on the original amount, but on the interest itself. Get them to see savings as a way of acquiring extra money without doing anything for it – apart from not touching their savings of course!
It’s Worth Waiting
Always apply the concept of ‘wait a while’ when your child wants something, especially something expensive or ‘hot off the press’. Instead of buying it straight away, agree to wait for an agreed period first. This will do several things:
Firstly it will show whether the article is really wanted. If, after waiting three months, your child still wants to purchase then it’s a committed buy, rather than a whim. But if they’re no longer that interested, they haven’t wasted money on something they would have quickly grown tired of.
Secondly, and particularly if the article was a new release of something expensive like software or cell phones, the price may well have fallen. Anyone who buys into a technology product as soon as it’s released is spending money they don’t need to. Often after only a few months these products can show significant price reductions. The opposite side of this is that similar products, or earlier versions, may also show price reductions in an effort to maintain market share, so there could be other bargains to compare the original item against.
Thirdly, it will show your child that, despite what the marketing people or their friends say, it IS possible to survive without those ‘must have’ items. This begins to break the hold of the instant gratification culture.
Money Isn’t a Dirty Word
Talking openly about money is a good thing. Many families try to shield their children from discussions about money, especially if they are having difficulties or worried about paying bills. But if you don’t share this with your children how can you expect them to ever develop a realistic understanding of money?
If they aren’t involved in discussions about budgeting, cutting back, changing spending habits etc. you’re doing them a real disservice in preparing them for future life. And if they don’t understand your financial situation they can’t give you their support. Don’t underestimate your kids: if they know cutbacks are needed they’re likely to come up with their own ideas, both for cutting their own spending AND for cutting back on household expenses.
Money Isn’t Everything
We live in a society that has been persuaded to believe that the only things worth having are those that cost money. We’ve been lulled into the false belief that anything that’s cheap – or free – is inferior. But that’s not always the case.
A country walk with a picnic prepared at home costs little money-wise, but pays dividends in terms of the quality time you all get to spend together.
Family efforts like tidying the yard or clearing the garage can be great fun and lead to other activities, such as collecting a stack of items to sell on eBay.
Growing things is an excellent way of teaching deferred gratification: that plant is going to grow in its own time, however much you want to rush it. And if you grow edibles as well as garden plants you get a double benefit. There are lots of things that can be grown in pots, tubs or window boxes, and that are easy enough to care for that the kids can be given partial or complete responsibility. When you’re eating salad with tomatoes, peppers and lettuce grown by your children, their satisfaction and your pride are priceless.
Get the kids involved in staging their own entertainment. Older children could act out stories for younger ones. You could search the web for puzzles or questions and put together your own quizzes and competitions with prizes. Sort through old photographs and start to build a family tree. The possibilities are endless. All it takes is a little imagination.
With older children get them exploring career ideas on the web to start preparing for their own future. The more they learn now, the better prepared they’ll be when they need to make decisions about college and employment. And you will be better prepared to support them, and avoid costly mistakes from hastily made choices.
Many activities that cost money offer temporary satisfaction, and need a regular ‘fix’ to keep that going. Substitute lower cost or free activities that develop your child’s own internal resources: their sense of responsibility, creativity, self confidence, real social skills (as opposed to exercising their texting thumbs), reasoning skills etc. and you’re giving them a priceless gift for life.
Money Doesn’t Bring Happiness
There are many examples of people with lots of money who are beset with difficulties – just read the pages of any celebrity rag.
More difficult to find, there are also examples of people enjoying a satisfying, fulfilling life on a low income.
That’s not to say that money can’t result in happiness, but just possession won’t do it. What you do with the money you have is far more significant than the amount you possess. If you use money to facilitate real life choices (we’re not talking about designer trappings here, but things of real value) then the outcome can be positive. And if you can create happiness on a limited amount of money, you’ve found the key to a good life.
Make sure your children don’t make the mistake of equating money with happiness or a trouble-free life. The more realistic their attitude towards money, the better chance they have of avoiding the pitfalls of worshipping at the altar of materialism.
Control, Routine and Responsibility
Author: Maggi

Sometimes it's good to let go of those routines and responsibilities
When I moved to Greece one of the things I was looking forward to was more control over my life.
I worked for many years in roles where I had a lot of responsibility – for people, systems or both. I’d get up each morning and the act of showering, dressing, eating breakfast and driving to work would be like putting on my ‘responsibility suit’. As I got closer to being fully clothed in this suit I’d start thinking about the day ahead, what tasks I needed to do, what challenges there might be etc.
Having finally been able to walk away from that life I was looking forward to being able to have more choice over what to do and when to do it. I definitely wanted to spend more time taking photographs and writing, but welcomed the fact that I wouldn’t feel hemmed in or tied down by routines, deadlines, targets and the like.
But it hasn’t really worked out like that.
It seems I’ve replaced one set of routines and responsibilities with another. As these have been chosen by me it makes sense that I can also choose not to follow them as and when I please. But the nature of a routine is to become a habit, and that’s what I’ve fallen into: a different set of habits, which sometimes feel as restricting as those I used to follow as a paid employee.
A fair portion of my time these days is internet related, working on our website and blog. Reading all the guidance about developing web-based communication I’ve set myself some targets related to the frequency with which to post articles on the two blogs. Nothing particularly daunting here, I’m not about to join that group of people who feel they have to post several times a day, but a commitment to regular, original posts that will keep the things alive.
This then creates a tension. I’m conscious of whether I have posts lined up ready to publish, or whether I’ve got to generate some new material. If it’s the latter I’m reviewing my experiences (as I live them) to see if they would make ‘blog fodder’. I’m wondering about pictures: what would work? Do I have it? Can I take it myself? Do I need to source it?
In some ways I’ve bought into the notion that I must post on time. As I get closer to that deadline, and there’s nothing ready or my IT is playing up (a regular occurrence at present) I can feel myself getting more and more edgy. Occasionally I post late and guess what?
THE WORLD DOESN’T STOP TURNING and no-one comes along and tells me off!
I see bloggers seeking guest posters to cover vacations. I see others posting lots of articles on the same day. And it makes me wonder:
? Do readers get withdrawal symptoms if there are no posts for a short while as the blogger goes off for a break?
? Do readers really have the time available to keep up with multiple new posts? Don’t they have a life outside of the internet?
? And how about those bloggers? Even if they work ‘full time’ on their blogs, don’t they too have an off-line life?
Back to my own situation, I’ve decided it’s time to lighten up. I’m not going to abandon my posting program for two reasons:
Firstly, I don’t believe it’s particularly onerous.
And secondly, I think that without some sort of structure I could find myself getting out of the habit of posting, then having frenzied catch-up sessions that wouldn’t really leave me feeling any better.
But I’m not going to get worried if a post is a little late. And maybe sometimes I’ll replace the words with a picture I like, ideally one I’ve taken myself.
And beyond the blog I’m starting to get control of my life back.
Yesterday morning I didn’t feel like putting on my ‘responsibility suit’ when I first woke up. There were chores to do and people to see, but I wasn’t ready to get into harness. I wasn’t tired but I decided to stay in bed for a while, just dozing and daydreaming without focussing on the tasks of the day.
I certainly felt the benefit, but I still need to take the medicine regularly as towards the end of my ‘me time’ I started thinking about how this would make a good blog post!
Face That Fear
Author: Maggi
Whenever you’re hesitant or downright afraid to do something, a good way of getting past the moment is to stop for a minute and think about what you’re doing to scare yourself. Be open and honest with yourself about what’s happening, and bring your fear out into the open.
Here are some examples to show you what I mean:

Putting off asking for that raise - what's causing your fear?
I want to show my friends my new business idea but I’m scared to do it in case they think I’m after their money.
I want to ask my boss for a raise but I’m afraid he might tell me he’s not happy with my work.
I want to tell my partner about my dreams to go self employed but I’m scared she’ll tell me I’m a no-hoper.
I want to tell my parents I’m gay but I’m afraid they’ll get upset.
I want to tell my co-workers about my ideas for the new project but I’m afraid they’ll think I’m stupid.
I want to contribute to the debate in class but I’m scared someone will tell me I’ve got my facts wrong, and make me look stupid.
I want to talk over our relationship with my partner, but I’m afraid he’ll think I want to break up.
Get the idea?
The benefit of doing this is that now you know what your imagination is doing. And it is your imagination. Unless and until you actually do something you don’t know what the outcome will be. But that doesn’t stop you predicting it, right? And your prediction doesn’t have to be based on fact, or any probability of whether it’s likely to happen.
Take asking your boss for that raise. Maybe you’ve had a good appraisal or you’ve been complimented on recent work. But that doesn’t stop you thinking the boss could find fault with you. Maybe he won’t give you a raise – maybe the company can’t afford one at this time, or there’s an annual review program you have to work within. Whatever, there could be lots of reasons for him not giving you a raise that have absolutely nothing to do with your work, and being afraid to ask for one is definitely there on the list.
Or how about telling your parents you’re gay. You assume they’ll be upset. But maybe they’ve been wondering about your out-of-character behaviour anyway. Maybe they’re worried that you’ve become secretive or distant. Maybe they’ll be relieved to find the real reason isn’t something detrimental to your health, like drug abuse. Maybe they’ll be pleased to see you’ve found happiness. You can’t know until you take the step of talking to them.
Another benefit of finding out what your imagination is doing to scare you is that you can plan how to deal with the consequences.
If you tell your parents you’re gay maybe they will be upset. You have the opportunity to consider how you’re going to act, how you can best prepare them. Unless they’ve already guessed the situation you’re definitely going to be presenting them with some information that they’ll need time to get used to and you have the opportunity to help them with that.
If you’re afraid your friends will think you’re after your money for your new business idea, you can make sure you present it in such a way that they don’t think this. In fact you can turn it the other way and tell them you really don’t want – or need – their money and you wouldn’t prey on their friendship in this way. But then again you might just find that they’re interested in your idea and impressed with your commitment, and they want to invest in you or buy your product.


